COPING, THE ART OF THE COMMA, AND HOW TO USE IT ON A TUESDAY AT 10:00 a.m.

Grammarians will argue that punctuation can completely change the meaning of a sentence. Afterall, most people would rather have twenty, five-dollar bills, than twenty-five, dollar bills. As a poet, I favor the comma. While there are empirically correct uses of the comma, I often use it for dramatic pause, to purposefully change the meaning of a sentence, or to really, drive, home, a, point. It’s a way to cause the reader to take a quick breath and absorb what is in front of them without stopping the momentum.

However, I want to offer the idea of commas as a coping mechanism. Certain situations require a full stop, but often, if you are struggling with a day, especially at work or dealing with a busy home life, you don’t always have the option of a full stop. I remember many days of speedwalking through the halls, trying to accomplish twelve things on my to-do list, in the ten minutes I had left before the first bell rang. It didn’t seem to matter how early I arrived at work, some days were just like that. One day, I was completely overwhelmed. My face was hot, and I felt myself getting dangerously close to a breaking point. I knew there was no possible way to complete everything on my list. I stopped racing for a second, took a deep breath, and looked at my list. I was able to reprioritize, moving three things to the afterschool spot, and completely delete one of them. That short pause saved me from crashing and burning. It saved me from the snowball of consequences that would have chased me and run me over multiple times during the day, if I had tried to squeeze everything in.

We are often bombarded with toxic Americanism that encourages us to keep going until we drop. Work harder, work faster, worK, woRK, WORK! (See what I did with the commas there?) The idea of ‘super moms’ infected a whole generation of women, convincing us that we had to do it all and be it all. But, in the doing and being, there is no resting, relaxing, or re-grouping. It is more like a revolving door that never allows you to pause and think, “Do I really need to be doing this?”

Generation Z, and some Millennials, have flipped the script on some of these old ideas. They have found innovative ways to make a living that don’t require allegiance to the capitalist overlords. They have said no to crap jobs that require long hours and pay little. Instead, they are often opting to start their own businesses that trade online. No huge capital outlay, no overhead, and fairly cheap or free advertising through social media. They have used small commerce, not only as a way to make a living, but as a way to “stick it to the man,” as the old adage goes. The biggest benefit of these types of jobs is being able to set your own schedule, which also means being able to take a break and prioritize your mental and physical health.

Prioritizing is tough. Just the thought of prioritizing when you are in the middle of a crisis, feels overwhelming. For me, the hardest things to let go, are things that would disappoint other people if I didn’t do them, whether it’s a social event, or something that maybe wasn’t essential for me to do while working, but would have helped a co-worker, or convinced a boss that I was “highly proficient.” I hated to let those things go because I wanted to convince others, and myself, that I could do it all; that I could work a full-time, and part-time job, raise a family, organize a household, and have time for friends. The only problem with that is it left zero time for me. Most of the time, I convinced myself I couldn’t ‘comma,’ and because I didn’t comma, I had to full stop.

Are you feeling like you are in a race you didn’t sign up for (or regretting the fact that you did sign up for it), and you think you won’t make it through the day? If so, stop, take a breath, and re-evaluate. It may save your day. Heck, if you have high blood pressure, it may save your life. Because, even on your worst days, when you feel your life is not your own to do with as you please, you can take it back, and make it yours. Our lives are more than a series of tasks and duties. We owe it to ourselves to safeguard our mental and physical health. And if you are having the opposite kind of day where everything is working out perfectly, stop, and take stock of the wonderfulness around you. Smell the roses. Turn a good day into a long-term core memory. A well-placed comma can help you keep going, and it can remind you to pause in the same place again to enjoy the scenery, both of which can make your day.